On-Time Pickups, Rescheduling and Cancelations
On-Time Pickups
I'll put it this way: if you're running late on your client and looking for an excuse to back up your delay, don't count on me being late as, unfortunately in this case, I'll always pick you up on time. Even if I was to back you up, there's a good probability that your client won't believe it: I am pretty famous for making it on time, every time, no matter what.
I don't know where I'm going. I don't even know why I'm here!
-Art Buchwald (Pulitzer Prize Winner), Too Soon To Say Goodbye
For instance, I don't recommend my services for Art Buchwald's dream trip. If you never heard of Art, you've obviously never read the Washington Post on Tuesdays and Thursday; and if I was your heart doctor, I would here and now prescribe these Art links to you, as a good laugh is essential for a healthy heart.
According to Art, he has this recurring dream that he's at Dulles Airport awaiting a pickup to heaven, except that his trip is canceled everytime (so far) and rescheduled for the next day. Lucky for Art, he didn't book me to drive him to his destination for he would have made it firsthand. I would have personally made sure that he would make it to his destination from day one, heaven or hell, day or shine. Otherwise, not only his first trip would be at no charge, but his next trip would be on me with compliments, whether he wishes me to drive him again or he prefers to choose another service.
Rescheduling
Of course, Art would have been most delighted by my rescheduling and cancelation policy. If an event or function is rescheduled, there would be no charge. Nada. For Art's daily rides to Dulles Airport, they all would be at no charge due to flight rescheduling; there would only be a charge if he makes the flight. Sorry, Art, but I don't want to encourage you to leave so soon.
Cancelations
Similarly for event or function cancelations, there would be no charge up to the point prior to pickup. If Art were to get a call to the hospice announcing permanent cancelation of his flight to heaven, Art would never be charged for simply scheduling the pickup. Now that type of permanent cancelation is unheard of, but he's done unexpectedly well so far, one could well imagine there's hell; though knowing Art, he would probably stop the elevator somewhere in between.
All said, if you're like Art, don't know where you're going or where you are, just living your days to the fullest, never worrying about tomorrow, then you'll be impressed at how far backwards ANA bends its rescheduling and cancelation policy for all your trips. As for Art's dream trip to heaven, I still don't recommend my services: the more he misses, the better off he is. And, so far, I have never missed.
Thank you, Art, for the humor and congratulations for the long life, and for making it through 2006. I wish you the same for 2007 and beyond.
For more about Art's Dulles Airport dream trip, read the back cover of Art Buchwald's "Too Soon To Say Goodbye". If you would like a free copy of this book (and some of Art's deadly humor and never-delivered eulogies prepared by notable friends), just ask me to bring you one for your next trip with my compliments.
If you cancel your trip prior to pickup, you will receive your complimentary copy, along with our cancelation policy and a personal dedication, by snail mail.
